Ashley Iverson on Widowhood and Finding Love Again

From episode: Alcohol Recovery For First Responders

my late husband was Corey Iverson killed fighting the Thomas fire in December of 2017. And since then, I have experienced five and a half years of widowhood. It's, it's a wicked experience that I wouldn't wish on anyone. However, it's like the greatest hilarity of life of just as dark as it gets. But it's, it's also provided me with the most profound light and wonderful experiences that I could have ever imagined. And I'm grateful. I'm grateful for all of it. I, I really hope I don't have to do it again. Yeah, it's strange to say that I wouldn't change it. And this beautiful person that's sitting beside me has made life a whole lot better for myself and the girls. And it's really special. It's not my first choice of profession to fall in love with again. But you know, it is what it is. Yeah, so I'll let you chit chat a little bit about yourself. Oh, my favorite thing talking about myself. Thanks for the opportunity to come on and speak with you tonight. So I'm a fire captain with Cal Fire and I'm here tonight because like Ashley, I've experienced some of the most darkest times in my life that have ultimately brought me to, you know, my reality today is just pure and utter gratitude for where I'm at and a new perspective on life. And, you know, I'm just grateful to be here share a little bit about my story and hope to share a story to those who, you know, are going through or have experienced some of the things that I've gone through. In a nutshell, I'm sure more will come out. Okay, so let's start from the beginning of Ashley and Phil. How'd you guys meet? So eight years ago, ironically, Cory and Phil, their paths crossed on the job for about three months, right? And so it's, it's really special for me, the fact that Phil knows Cory gives a massive amount of peace and just, just him actually knowing Cory, there's another level of respect and honor that he comes with and wants to show up with for myself and the girls, which is really special. We were brought together by one of their captains befriended me after Cory passed. And three years ago, I met up with them, the group of them were down here at a convention. They met up for dinner with them. And that night, I definitely noticed Phil, but it was kind of like, I don't, did we even have much context? No, we did converse briefly, but it was more, it was such a large group of people. There wasn't any real substance to what we had. I don't really, I don't remember really having a conversation. I just remember like feeling his energy, but there was also something that was very significant. And I knew that I didn't have any business knowing him at that point in time. I don't know. It was something where it was just like, okay, beautiful man. And I have to go by, you know, and a year ago I met up with the same group and he happened to be with them again. And we were walking from lunch back to the convention center. And I noticed the good looking one had dropped off, not knowing that he was the same one from three years ago. And when he caught back up, I could see a level of distress on his face. And I just, I pulled him aside and I asked him if he was all right. And he was sharing with me that he had a daughter and she's really struggled with him not being home. She was young at the time, she was three. And we ended up just having a heart to heart on how challenging that is